Things learned on January 26, 2011

"Christopher, your ability to write such real and provocative [work] with such beauty and natural style is precisely why you will eventually succeed in spite of your nonexistent work ethic." - Professor Pohle

The things I will do to avoid writing my Centretown editorial:
- do groceries
- cook dinner
- do dishes
- re-adjust my bindings
- watch two episodes of 'Big Bang Theory'
- re-adjust my bindings
- go buy milk
- watch an episode of 'Big Bang Theory'
- bake cookies
- watch the second half of Clippers/Mavericks
- consider writing my editorial
- write a blog post detailing the things I will do to avoid writing my Centretown editorial

#procrastinationchamppp

Things learned on January 24, 2011

Lest our actions be interpreted wrongly, always take the long way around so as to demonstrate your ability to think things through. Consider this.

Things learned on January 20, 2011

Sometimes, all you need to do is ride.

Battlesong of the Poet

Our battle is against the dark forces of the spiritual realm, manifested through the devils that lurk in the form of negative people.

Our fate will be written into history by death knolls tolled by forbidden bells from the top of religion's steeples.

Our allies will abandon us; our fortresses will crumble.

Our resolve will be bombarded, but still we shall not stumble.

Our weapon is the pen and our wit.

War does not call us; we go to it.

Things learned on January 19, 2011

Sometimes all it takes is a good conversation with someone you genuinely respect. The former is rare, the latter, rarer still. Cherish both.

Boxscore from January 17, 2011

You don't have to play like a star to be the star.

Tonight was for all the glue guys who just know how to play basketball.

Question: What can wash away my sin?

To all my white-collar warriors who wage war daily in their cubicle-shaped trenches
To all my blue-collar battlers who blaze trails for their boys and girls on a regular basis

continue to shine on and thrive
just for being alive
you have been granted access to open skies
and motions of hope billowing up like tornado winds
Eat well
and live long
you are humanity's redemption song.

Things learned on January 12, 2011

You never know when words can save the world.

Knock on wood. Eff that, drive to Rona and knock on ALL the wood.

please... please... please...

please... don't be torn. please.

Another thing learned on January 10, 2011

I crave physical activity BECAUSE it lets me complain about how my injuries inhibit me in my physical activity.

Interesting.

Things learned on January 10, 2011

People don't understand what journalism is really about, do they?

Things I am sick of - circa summer 2010

- I’m sick of everything, to be honest – of work, of people, of having to work hard to please people, of having to work hard to make money, of having to make money to impress people, of having to impress people to get ahead with work, of having to make money to buy food to feed myself because I live by myself now and Mom no longer does my groceries.
- I’m sick of going out and hanging out with awesome people who are totally unmotivated to do anything great with their lives, and I’m sick of spending $6 on a pint of beer just so I can hang out with said people and talk about nothing that really really matters.
- I’m sick of having to stretch before and after doing sports. I’m sick of having to feel like I need to dominate when playing sports, because reality is, I’m no longer the athlete I was in high school.
- I’m sick of trying to hold up to people’s expectations because I had no idea how much work it is to be liked by people.
- I’m sick of being sick of things because it breeds cynicism and angst in me that really doesn’t need to be there.
- I’m sick of being impatient with my parents on the phone because I have a more interesting basketball article to read online.
- I’m sick of Facebook but I’m sick of the fact that I NEED Facebook in order to keep my life organized.
- I’m sick of being good at poetry because the expectations placed on me when I step to the mic are too heavy for a person with weak knees. I’m sick of being captain of the Ottawa team because it’s a lot of pressure trying to lead four black men when you’re one small Asian. (edit: we won and I'm no longer sick of being captain because my team is dope and I didn't really captain anything anyway; we co-led each other)
- I’m sick of wanting to be better at everything because I feel like anything less than the best is worst, which is a deep deep perversion of the ‘anything less than YOUR best is worst’ mentality, which happens to be a very very good way to live one’s life. The challenge is differentiating between your best and the best. I miss not having responsibilities, or having to worry about my future. Even in grade 12, I didn’t worry about my future the way I do now. I also hate the fact that I have this wicked awesome plan for my future that incorporates nobody back home and nothing to do with my line of study or anything – it incorporates doing the very thing that I love to loathe, which is being less than my best. The problem is that I feel like that would be the most fulfilling thing since I’ve been excelling for so long.
- I’m sick of being proud of my accomplishments because while I’ve never found myself cocky, I care deeply that people know I’m good at things but that I’m also humble. What kind of sick paradox is that? Being humble but wanting to people to be impressed with my humility? There’s got to be some sort of rule against that.
- I’m sick of living my life by rules, and I’m sick of feeling like I have to break those rules because I’ve always been the rebel.
- I’m sick of not being able to embrace certain aspects of life because of who people think I am, and I’m sick of the fact that summer allows girls to showcase their beauty so much more when I have absolutely no interest in pursuing any form of female companionship, or so I tell myself.
- I’m sick of having to drink pilsner because the group wants a pitcher when really all I want is a pint of Rickards white with an orange slice because it’s fucking summer and a Rickards White would just really hit the spot.
- I’m sick of the fact that I can’t tell them that because it will ruin my laid-back, go with the flow persona that I’ve so carefully co-constructed with everyone I’ve ever met in my life.
- I’m sick of having so many friends but so few that I can write this sort of letter to.
- I’m sick of you living in Coquitlam when you could live in Ottawa and we could share an apartment and bitch about our respective lives to each other and you could come to my poetry slams and tell me to stop being Chris Tse the amazing performer and just tell me to be Chris Tse, and I could comfort you after your latest failed date by reminding you that most people, not just some people, are, in fact, selfish and inconsiderate.

#wordappp

Things I appreciate about you: Installment 4

let me emphasize how much I respect you as a person and a man of substance. You have God-given character qualities that are SO refreshing and invaluable to have around. I love your constant search for the deeper - how you urge the rest of the guys, including myself, to be real to themselves, to each other, and to the divine. You redefined the term 'real talk' for me, and as such I have learned to be more honest with myself and with others.

Things I appreciate about you: Installment 3

It’s not everyday that the world gets somebody like you, who tells it like she sees it and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks/says. That’s a gift, and I wish God would make more girls like you.

We still love you, but seriously... wtf.

Yesterday night had shades of this. Except with less TV ratings and more national pride at stake.

For the broken
the used
the downtrodden
abused
for the lost
and the blind
for the weak
for the sick
and the meek
be at ease
for even the strongest of men will stumble
and even the toughest of towers will crumble
and all that remains
that can never be shaken by sword, stone, or scheme
is the power
and beauty
of a dream.



Be blessed.

Things pondered on January 3, 2011

"Find your own Calcutta." - Mother Teresa

yes to true music.

1/1/11

This year holds a lot of uncertainty. A lot of adventure, sure, but moreso uncertainty. I'm not sure what the most appropriate feeling should be heading into 2011. Apprehension? Excitement? Determination?

This year, I'll be graduating. It's so weird when I look back - it seems like just yesterday when I left Coquitlam and moved to Ottawa to start a new chapter in my life. And now it's ending, just like that. Weird. The scarier part is that I have to start real life - working (not a job but a JOB, feel me?) thinking about investments, saving... all stuff that has never been on my radar because that's not the sort of person I am, but at some point, one needs to consider the future. What does mine hold?

As of today, I've only ever been on one continent. However, in the span of the next six months, I'll have hit three continents for the purposes of compassion, journalism, and art. Exciting.

All I know is this: 2010 was a trying year. I made some mistakes that I'm not keen on repeating, burned some bridges that I'm not keen on rebuilding, and injured some body parts that don't seem bent on regenerating. In light of that, I'd like for 2011 to be:

1. Inspiring. For my art, my work, and most importantly, my faith.
2. Compassionate. For the lost and the broken and the Samaritan women.
3. Healthy. For my body to actually have a chance to experience life as a 21-year-old.

2011 is when I become somebody. Determine where my life is heading, discern what my calling is, decipher what is in store for my art, and discover, for real, who I am as a journalist, as a poet, as a friend, as a brother, as a son, as a subject, and as a person.

1/1/11. Let's get it.